The End / Das Ende
During the following months many things happened. We decided to dissolve the weaving in the KZ. First went Frau Burchard's looms and equipment. She arranged for the rent of a big truck and the permission to drive it with all her property to her country home, with the help of the weaver commando.
On the fixed day the commando loaded the truck very early in the morning. Kamola and five of his men came to our house to pick me up. At our destination the dismantled looms were put together again. The work lasted into the night. Everybody got lunch, beer, coffee and snacks. Frau Burchard took good care of everyone, true to her customary generous way. I noticed that the men purposefully stretched the work to last as long as possible. They appreciated to be here, out of the KZ walls, and they wanted to stay as long as possible.
I called Kamola outside to listen to far away hollow canon thunder. It was dismal to hear enemy artillery fire so close to home. Without doubt, the end was very near.
Soon after we parted from Frau Burchard's the ascending road must have been too steep for the truck because it got stuck. We all had to get off and push. Suddenly the motor started and the truck ran away from us! We all ran but soon I was behind. Kamola reached out for my hand and pulled me with astounding ease. The hand felt strong and stable and left me with a strange feeling of security as an almost foregone conclusion. The rest of the trip was uneventful.
Kamola asked me one day whether I would accept an invitation to a sting quartet concert some of his friends were preparing in the KZ. A strange and unusual invitation indeed. I accepted, of course, and it became one of my most memorable experiences. The rules in the KZ were already lame, lacking all the sternness of the past. Nobody asked the purpose of my visit and I entered the camp without the need for any explanation. The music of slavic composers was banned from all concerts since Hitler took the reins in Germany. I was not familiar with Slavic music. The violinist asked me what kind of music he might play for me, and named a few to choose from.
I requested a Quartet by Borodini, whose name I was not familiar with. The violinist promised me a very beautiful music. It was odd to listen to first rate artists within these shabby walls, dressed in prison garb with wooden shoes and shaven heads, playing the beautiful quartet by Borodini.
The music made my hair stand up, it was howling, it was penetrating, ghastly in part.
IN a key and harmony totally strange to me, it was simply beautiful.
Quartet by Alexander Borodin (KW: there are many quartets from Borodin, I am thus not sure if this was the piece, but I find its mood very fitting to the story)
I felt immensely sorry for these men who had lost their freedom, who were forced to live under deplorable circumstances yet had not lost their love for making music. I attended this concert in a tormented state of mind, which the war had brought on me. To hear the melancholic music, to witness the poor men's devotion to their art, their masterful performance, was almost more than I could bear. Afterwards, I would have liked to thank them but could not touch their hands. Like gentlemen they thanked me with a bow for coming.
The following day Kamola came to our house and to my utmost surprise took the ring a comrade had made for him from his finger and begged me to keep it as a souvenir. I was perplexed and too ashamed to take a present from someone who had practically nothing. I seriously tried to refrain.
Kamola however pressed on. After some thought I finally said: "I keep it safely and give it back to you when you reclaim it some later time". But Kamola didn't back down, he begged me to keep it, so I said: "have something written in it, to show that it is mine." Kamola agreed and when he handed the ring to me next day on my visit to the KZ, I read: "My thoughts are always with you". I was speechless. This was the first time that he had shown any affection towards me. I accepted the gift graciously and wore the ring for many years.
One day Kamola told me that the inmates of the KZ had been ordered to march to the Alps to "escape" the approaching enemies. He said he refused to go on this death-march. He was determined to escape and had a plan how to do it. He explained that he and two of his best friends would simply not return to the camp from their outing. The guard would go and stay with them. They would wait for the Amreican forces while hiding in a hut within the moor which extends behind Dachau. I told him it would be probably better to stay at the chicken coop. He was doubtful.
This same night the first of three groups of prisoners left the KZ and marched, rather crawled, towards, the Alps. I didn't see them ( it was after midnight) but as I lay in bed, I heard the scraping noises of wooden shoes as they tagged along the cement surface of the road half a mile away. it was a terrible sound.
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Death March from Dachau
After this first march no additional marches left the KZ. It was not only already too late, but many men couldn't make it and were shot by the guard when they sat down to rest, or if they fell down because of exhaustion.
Others left the column and stepped aside. They were shot for trying to escape. Once I went to the KZ and had the misfortune to witness an incoming transport of new prisoners. They were about to enter the gate, all barely alive skeletons. Some were not able to walk anymore and were dragged by comrades on the floor like sacks of potatoes. It was a horrible sight. Hundreds of men and been evacuated from other camps situated nearer the enemy lines. What was the intention to bring them here? The camp was already many times overcrowded. These men were skin and bone, all of them wearing ragged and torn blue-gray striped KZ uniforms, wooden shoes, shaven heads. They were skeletons on the threshold to another, hopefully a better world. After my equipment was dismantled and stored at the rented place, Kamola left a letter for me at our house which read:
Miss Binder, we finished with our work and I want to thank you for your kindness toward me and our commando. We won't see you again. I wish you good luck, Kamola.
I was startled, I felt sorry that I was not home to say goodbye. But, as told before, Kamola had in mind to escape. I drove to the KZ and was greeted respectfully by the men. They stood around in some corner a few seemed to play cards. I talked to Kamola and said that I Had been serious when I offered to hide hima at the chicken coop and that he should give me notice when he would be ready to leave the camp for the last time. I would be here and lead the group through the guard house and the gate.
The whole camp was in a state of utter dissolution and uproar. It stood to reason that no one would not be interested anymore in me, only in their own affairs and their wish to survive imminent punishment for being in the SS. But I still worried whether they would let us pass without questioning me or the guard, who would accompany the commando.
There were were a few pieces of my properties which had to be taken out; a sewing machine, a few shuttles, and other smaller items which Kamola said he will take out. This was good so, because he and his friends could hide their own belongings, which they would need when outside the camp among my properties.
On May 26th afternoon I met Kamola, two friends ( not members of our weaving commando), and the older guard who had accompanied the group already for several month when they went to town. They had found and taken a much bigger cart which didn't belong to me. It was loaded with the sewing machine, a few boxes, carpets, and equipment. A group fo men stood around and watched with perplexed expressions. nobody uttered one word, they just stared. Did they presume that Kamola and the others were planing an escape? As we went to the gate of the guard approaching us. With widly beating heart, I met him half way and resolutely said matter-of-factly, with a steady voice which did not falter, " I have here the rest of my belongings to take out. You will not see me coming here anymore". He just looked at me and let us pass.
We were on the outside of the camp! It was a success!
On the way to the chicken coop the sky darkened. A wind blew black clouds toward us and a heavy rain started to fall. We had no protection but didn't mind the cooling. We needed it after the excitement of the last hour.
A group of Dachau residents came rushing towards us and tried to rob the cart of something, anything! They wanted a share after the many years of doing without. They didn't get far, the guard stood fast and they finally retreated.
At the chicken coop the girls were astounded to see the commando at so late an hour. One young girl was new.. Frau Burchard had hired her only recently. I had little contact with the girls, they worked exclusively for Frau Burchard and were under her control. They were all nice young girls, good workers, honest and reliable. Why this new girls was hired, I had no idea.
At the secluded back room the men made themselves comfortable.They got familiar with the place with Kamola's guidance, since they had never been here before. They heated water and prepared tea. I sat in one corner removing their identifications from their jackets, their prisoners numbers, and the red triangles which identified them as political prisoner. Soon I returned home.
I was debating how to behave and what to do until the Americans would take the responsibility away from me for th future of these men. I thought of hundreds of ways and finally decided that the best would probably be to act naturally and innocently while going on daily visits to the KZ. To simply show my face. And that was what I did. I aso ched on the girls and the men at the chicken coop. I noticed that, with the exception of the new girl, the others were friendly as they always had been. At the back room I always was presented with a surprise: a piece of chocolate. I learned that the prisoners had the chance to buy at the canteen things we didn't see in the world beyond. These were articles taken from defeated countries, France, belgium, Holland, the Scandinavians, and others. They included tea, coffee, cookies and more.
During these days we had increased bombardments by day and by night. Only half a mile to the East, in Schleissheim, was a German air command and an airfield which was unmercifully bombarded every night. the sky was lit with so called Christmas trees; flares in the shape of trees, hundreds of them. It was frightening.
Kamola and the other men came late in the evening one day to our house to help or guard us if necessary. We upstairs heard the hellos of the Meier family. who were surprised and delighted by the prisoners' visit. Kamola was no stranger to them. My mother offered at once some refreshments while the sound of canons north of Dachau came closer and closer. We arranged that every man got a decent bed for the night. The mood was a mixture of relief and expectation.
Next morning I went with Kamola in bright daylight ot check on the girls. While we were halfway there we saw a very strange looking military vehicle. it appeared suddenly from nowhere at the intersection of the highway leading to the KZ. It was suddenly here and within seconds it turned on the spot and disappeared towards the KZ: It was the first jeep we ever saw.
A few steps further, hiding behind one of the bi maple trees, stood a German soldier wearing a dirty and torn uniform. He asked us whether we knew where he could get information where his military unit was at this time, as he had lost it! We couldn't help this poor and frightened man.
Before the American Army had arrived in Dachau, the SS had opened the gates and the doors to the warehouses which were brimful of food, drinks, textiles, shoes, etc. The news had spread rapidly among the citizens. We noticed people hurrying to the warehouses and saw them returning with their arms full of all kinds of merchandise, or with overloaded carts they hardly could pull. One man was stricken with a heart attack when he pulled a cart loaded with heavy shoe leather and other things.
Others pulled big leather hides on the floor behind them. this was sad and devastating. Kamola and I were standing at the corner of our street, speechlessly watching the procession go by. Kamola uttered in disgust, "This is the end!".
Then arrived the fleeing German army with ox carts, bicycles, on foot. They were poor, hungry looking, disheveled and dirty soldiers in torn uniforms; Germany's lost pride, their army! These boys had given years of their lives, of their youth, and had lost their health, their optimism and their pride in these ungodly killings called war. These sick and defenseless men were supposed to hold off the oncoming American Army? Dachau's civil defence was ordered to demolish all bridges on roads leading into town, even the smallest bridges over small rivers which served only the farmers. A senseless undertaking, especially when we saw the Third ARmy big vehicles. then smaller ones with soldiers of higher ranks. These were followed by foot soldiers, men with helmets strapped under their chins, chewing constantly, white belts holding their pants below their waistline and high heavy boots. they carried weapons, marching in single file on either side of the street, looking stern and unforgiving, watchful and ready to shoot. Dachau's people were watching, some waving white flags other strewing flowers.
Two weeks later Germany signed the unconditional surrender which ended the war of wars. Meanwhile we could do nothing, nor go anywhere. We were under strict house arrest, a curfew which started about noon and was not lived until the next morning, after an American military government had been established in the town. Afterwards, the curfew was less severe.
We played cards, chess, and other games with Kamola. The other men, Franz and Jurek (both strangers to us), as well as the guard, stayed with the Meiers. After two days Kamola told me that they taken already too much advantage of our hospitality and they had decided to return to the KZ and wait there until they could make arrangements for their future. It was a sensible gesture. I, however, thought it was not a solution for Kamola, who had done so much for us and who had no wife waiting for him in Poland ( she had died while he was imprisoned in Dachau).
I wanted to help and said: "In case you want to leave I would rather see you leave now than later." He bowed slightly and left me standing, not closing the door behind him. I followed and at the entry door I said good bye to the men as they left. After a few minutes Kamola appeared and told me that he accompanied his friends to the garden gate, but had decided to come back. This was said with a big smile on his face, as if it were the most natural thing to do. This was Kamola, the happy-go-lucky guy we so often had watched in astonishment when he came to our house. Next day a small truck came to our house and brought ten to twelve KZ comrades of Kamola's. The gates at the KZ had been opened and as soon as they had organized transportation, they came to our house to celebrate their freedom with their old friend. They brought a few bottles of wine to toast their new life in a big way. They embraced Kamoa with tears in their eyes. I listened to their conversation and was saddened and ashamed by what I heard about their lives. They went through hell during thee past years.
My mother didn't feel well and had been staying in bed. I saw Kamola leaving the room with two glasses filled with wine. He went upstairs to my mother's bedroom and celebrated with her, crying on her breast for joy at having regained his freedom. She had always been very fond of him, had talked to him, given him courage as she would have to a son. She probably shed also a few tears with him. I felt ashamed for Germany which had robbed these men of their freedom.
Former comrades kept coming to our house. I met several I hadn't know before. One big blond man was determined to go to Caracas, Venezuela, his eyes shining brightly when he talked about his dream. Two men came in dressed in expensive fur coats, one was the Prince of Prussia, his companion, Graf (Count) Czerny, was from Austria. Not only I but also Kamola had no idea what the purpose of their visit was. I remembered that I had seen Czerny in the office of the KZ management, a prisoner passing through. The SS man I had business with broke our conversation, turned to the prisoner and asked: "What size of shoes do you wear?" With a slight smile he answered "I don't know, my shoes were always custom made," I noticed then that he wore wooden boots. It was Graf Cerny.
The weather was sunny and warm and we spent time with visitors in the spring fresh garden. Of the visitors I recall most clearly was a young man in a black suit and white neck collar, a young Polish priest and one of Kamola's best friends. What caught my eye in particular were the bright oxblood read shoes he was wearing. They looked quite unusual with his outfit. Of course! The prisoners had searched through the civil clothing which had been left by other deceased prisoners. The shoes were of first class make except for the color. Kamola talked very animated with the priest when I heard im ask: "where could we get married? I would like you to marry us". What was the big idea? I asked Kamola, he looked me straight into the eyes and said: "Look, I live with you under one roof. This is not permissible for an unmarried man. Either I move out or we get married." When I told this to my mother she only said: "Why not?" Early next morning I heard loud noses at the entry of our house. Kamola was shaving in the bathroom and looked out the small window, noticing an American military vehicle with some men storming around the house. Others knocked impatiently and loudly at the door using their rifles and damaging the door badly. Kamola ran downstairs, his face covered with lather. He let the soldiers in. They immediately held him, searched his arms under his armpits, checking whether he had numbers tattooed on them. This would have been the identification of SS soldiers. They couldn't find anything on him, but storemed through the house, opened all wardrobes and cupboards, searched the attic, not missing one corner in the whole house. They frightened the Meier family downstairs also. On his bedroom chest Kamola had left his silver Omega watch which a chain and a mascot, a silver St. George I had given his in return for his ring. It was gone after the soldiers left.
The sergeant, a fairly well educated man, uttered a few words of apology after he was sure that no SS man lived in this house. My mother had come down and she and I tried to explain our broken English that Kamola had been a prisoner in the KZ. However, I think the sergeant was not quite convinced. My mother, feeling sorry for the young office, when he told her he was homesick and wished he could go to his wife and children, asked him whether he would like to come for a cup of tea int he afternoon. The sergeant really came at the agreed upon time. He showed us pictures from his house and family and we told him that Kamola's watch had disappeared. He was displeased and promised to bring it back. We never saw him again. "That is natural." Kamola said. "When there is a war, the soldiers loose their senses". My mother had told the sergeant that Kamola is her daughter's fiancee. After we were left alone again, she appeared with a bottle of champagne to celebrate this event. Where she his her surprises I have no idea, but it shows her spirit, ready all the time to add to the occasion, any occasion, a bottle of wine.
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Das Ende
In den folgenden Monaten passierte viel. Wir beschlossen, die Weberei im KZ aufzulösen. Zuerst gingen die Webstühle und die Ausrüstung von Frau Burchard. Mit Hilfe des Weberkommandos arrangierte sie die Miete eines großen Lastwagens und die Erlaubnis, ihn mit ihrem gesamten Besitz zu ihrem Landhaus zu fahren.
Am festgelegten Tag belud das Kommando den LKW sehr früh am Morgen. Kamola und fünf seiner Männer kamen zu unserem Haus, um mich abzuholen. An unserem Zielort wurden die demontierten Webstühle wieder zusammengesetzt. Die Arbeiten dauerten bis in die Nacht. Jeder bekam Mittagessen, Bier, Kaffee und Snacks. Frau Burchard hat sich in gewohnt großzügiger Art liebevoll um alle gekümmert. Mir ist aufgefallen, dass die Männer die Arbeit bewusst in die Länge gezogen haben, um so lange wie möglich zu dauern. Sie schätzten es, hier zu sein, außerhalb der KZ-Mauern, und sie wollten so lange wie möglich bleiben.
Ich rief Kamola nach draußen, um dem weit entfernten hohlen Kanonendonner zu lauschen. Es war traurig, feindliches Artilleriefeuer so nah am Haus zu hören. Ohne Zweifel war das Ende sehr nahe.
Kurz nachdem wir uns von Frau Burchard getrennt hatten, musste die Straße bergauf für den Lastwagen zu steil gewesen sein, weil er steckengeblieben war. Wir mussten alle absteigen und schieben. Plötzlich sprang der Motor an und der LKW lief vor uns davon! Wir rannten alle, aber bald war ich im Rückstand. Kamola griff nach meiner Hand und zog mich mit erstaunlicher Leichtigkeit. Die Hand fühlte sich stark und stabil an und hinterließ bei mir wie eine fast ausgemachte Sache ein seltsames Gefühl der Sicherheit. Der Rest der Reise verlief ereignislos.
Kamola fragte mich eines Tages, ob ich eine Einladung zu einem Streichquartettkonzert annehmen würde, das einige seiner Freunde im KZ vorbereiteten. In der Tat eine seltsame und ungewöhnliche Einladung. Ich habe natürlich zugesagt und es wurde zu einem meiner unvergesslichsten Erlebnisse. Die Regeln im KZ waren bereits lahm und es fehlte ihnen die Strenge der Vergangenheit. Niemand fragte nach dem Zweck meines Besuchs und ich betrat das Lager, ohne dass es einer Erklärung bedarf. Die Musik slawischer Komponisten war seit der Machtübernahme Hitlers in Deutschland aus allen Konzerten verbannt. Ich war mit slawischer Musik nicht vertraut. Der Geiger fragte mich, welche Art von Musik er für mich spielen könnte, und nannte mir einige zur Auswahl.
Ich habe ein Quartett von Borodini angefordert, dessen Namen mir nicht bekannt war. Der Geiger versprach mir eine sehr schöne Musik. Es war seltsam, in diesen schäbigen Mauern erstklassigen Künstlern zuzuhören, die in Gefängniskleidung mit Holzschuhen und rasierten Köpfen gekleidet waren und das wunderschöne Quartett von Borodini spielten.
Die Musik ließ mich die Haare sträuben, sie heulte, sie war durchdringend, teilweise gruselig. In einer Tonart und Harmonie, die mir völlig fremd war, war es einfach wunderschön.
Quartet by Alexander Borodin (KW: Es gibt viele Quartette von Borodin, daher bin ich mir nicht sicher, ob dies das Stück war, aber ich finde, dass seine Stimmung sehr gut zur Geschichte passt)
Er verneigte sich leicht und ließ mich stehen, ohne die Tür hinter sich zu schließen. Ich folgte ihnen und verabschiedete mich an der Eingangstür von den Männern, als sie gingen. Nach ein paar Minuten erschien Kamola und erzählte mir, dass er seine Freunde zum Gartentor begleitet hatte, sich aber entschieden hatte, zurückzukommen. Dies sagte er mit einem breiten Lächeln im Gesicht, als wäre es das Natürlichste, was man tun kann. Das war Kamola, der fröhliche Kerl, den wir so oft voller Erstaunen beobachtet hatten, als er zu uns nach Hause kam. Am nächsten Tag kam ein kleiner Lastwagen zu uns nach Hause und brachte zehn bis zwölf KZ-Kameraden von Kamola. Die Tore des KZ waren geöffnet und sobald sie den Transport organisiert hatten, kamen sie zu uns nach Hause, um mit ihrem alten Freund ihre Freiheit zu feiern. Sie brachten ein paar Flaschen Wein mit, um groß auf ihr neues Leben anzustoßen. Sie umarmten Kamoa mit Tränen in den Augen. Ich hörte ihrem Gespräch zu und war traurig und beschämt über das, was ich über ihr Leben hörte. Sie sind in den letzten Jahren durch die Hölle gegangen.
Meiner Mutter ging es nicht gut und sie lag im Bett. Ich sah, wie Kamola mit zwei Gläsern Wein den Raum verließ. Er ging nach oben in das Schlafzimmer meiner Mutter und feierte mit ihr, wobei er an ihrer Brust weinte vor Freude darüber, dass er seine Freiheit wiedererlangt hatte. Sie hatte ihn immer sehr gemocht, hatte mit ihm gesprochen, ihm Mut gemacht, wie sie es einem Sohn getan hätte. Sie hat wahrscheinlich auch ein paar Tränen mit ihm vergossen. Ich schämte mich für Deutschland, das diese Männer ihrer Freiheit beraubt hatte.
Immer wieder kamen ehemalige Kameraden zu uns nach Hause. Ich traf mehrere, die ich vorher nicht kannte. Ein großer blonder Mann wollte unbedingt nach Caracas, Venezuela, und seine Augen leuchteten hell, als er von seinem Traum erzählte. Zwei Männer in teuren Pelzmänteln kamen herein, einer war der Prinz von Preußen, sein Begleiter, Graf (Graf) Czerny, stammte aus Österreich. Nicht nur ich, sondern auch Kamola hatte keine Ahnung, was der Zweck ihres Besuchs war. Ich erinnerte mich, dass ich Czerny im Büro der KZ-Leitung gesehen hatte, einen durchreisenden Häftling. Der SS-Mann, mit dem ich geschäftlich zu tun hatte, unterbrach unser Gespräch, wandte sich an den Häftling und fragte: „Welche Schuhgröße tragen Sie?“ Mit einem leichten Lächeln antwortete er: „Ich weiß nicht, meine Schuhe waren immer Maßanfertigungen“, da fiel mir auf, dass er Holzstiefel trug. Es war Graf Cerny.
Das Wetter war sonnig und warm und wir verbrachten Zeit mit Besuchern im frühlingsfrischen Garten. Von den Besuchern erinnere ich mich am deutlichsten an einen jungen Mann in schwarzem Anzug und weißem Kragen, einen jungen polnischen Priester und einen von Kamolas besten Freunden. Was mir besonders ins Auge fiel, waren die leuchtenden Ochsenblutschuhe, die er trug. Sie sahen mit seinem Outfit ziemlich ungewöhnlich aus. Natürlich! Die Gefangenen hatten die Zivilkleidung durchsucht, die von anderen verstorbenen Gefangenen hinterlassen worden war. Die Schuhe waren bis auf die Farbe erstklassig verarbeitet. Kamola unterhielt sich sehr angeregt mit dem Priester, als ich ihn fragen hörte: „Wo könnten wir heiraten? Ich möchte, dass du uns heiratest.“ Was war die große Idee? Ich fragte Kamola, er sah mir direkt in die Augen und sagte: „Schau, ich wohne mit dir unter einem Dach. Das ist für einen unverheirateten Mann nicht zulässig. Entweder ich ziehe aus oder wir heiraten.“ Als ich das meiner Mutter erzählte, sagte sie nur: „Warum nicht?“ Früh am nächsten Morgen hörte ich laute Nasen am Eingang unseres Hauses. Kamola rasierte sich im Badezimmer und schaute aus dem kleinen Fenster, als sie ein amerikanisches Militärfahrzeug bemerkte, mit dem einige Männer um das Haus stürmten. Andere klopften ungeduldig und laut mit ihren Gewehren an die Tür und beschädigten die Tür schwer. Kamola rannte die Treppe hinunter, sein Gesicht war mit Schaum bedeckt. Er ließ die Soldaten herein.
Sie hielten ihn sofort fest, durchsuchten seine Arme unter seinen Achseln und überprüften, ob er Nummern tätowiert hatte. Dies wäre die Identifizierung von SS-Soldaten gewesen. Sie konnten nichts bei ihm finden, sondern stöberten durch das Haus, öffneten alle Kleiderschränke und Schränke, durchsuchten den Dachboden und übersahen keine Ecke im ganzen Haus. Sie erschreckten auch die Familie Meier unten. Auf seiner Schlafzimmertruhe hatte Kamola seine silberne Omega-Uhr zurückgelassen, die ihm eine Kette und ein Maskottchen, ein silberner St. Georg I., als Gegenleistung für seinen Ring geschenkt hatte. Es war verschwunden, nachdem die Soldaten gegangen waren.

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